Why our children are so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?


I am an occupational therapist with 10 years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I completely agree with this teacher’s message that our children getting worse and worse in many aspects. I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. Clearly, throughout my ten years as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen and continue to see a decline in kids’ social, emotional, academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.

Today’s children come to school emotionally unavailable for learning and there are many factors in our modern lifestyle that contribute to this. As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker”. I truly believe that with all our greatest intentions, we unfortunately remold our children’s brains in the wrong direction. Here is why…

1. Technology

“Free babysitting service… the payment is waiting for you just around the corner”.  We pay with our kids’ nervous system, with their attention, and ability for delayed gratification. Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with graphic explosions and special effects that they are used to seeing on the screens. After hours of virtual reality, processing information in a classroom becomes increasingly challenging for our kids because their brains are getting used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges. Technology also disconnects us emotionally from our children and our families. Parental emotional availability is the main nutrient for child’s brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children from that nutrient.

2. Kids get everything they want the moment they want

“I am Hungry!!” “In a sec I will stop at drive thru” “I am Thirsty!” “Here is a vending machine”. “I am bored!” “Use my phone!”   The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have all the greatest intention in mind to make our children happy, but unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in a long term.  To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.
The inability to delay gratification is often seen in classrooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores the moment the child hears “No” because parents have taught their“child’s brain” to get what it wants right away

3. Kids rule the world

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One thought on “Why our children are so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?”

  1. I have raised two families. The first one I raised pretty much as Prooday suggests and the result varied from disastrous to seriously bad.
    I completely changed the way I did it for my second family of two boys.
    I didn’t send them to school but instead had lots learning resources at home including some excellent online courses and helped them with studies if they asked.
    Everything was voluntary or negotiated. There was no coercion. Of course I explained to them why learning academic subjects was valuable but it was their choice to do it or not.
    They make their own food if they want to eat unless I am making a meal and ask if they want any. There is no schedule. The only schedule they have to keep is that I tell them when I am available for academic consultation so if they want my help it has to be on my schedule.
    They are strong teenagers so will volunteer if I need muscle work in my chores on our property.
    Jack does the vacuuming and dusting.
    Logan does the kitchen cleanup and garbage.
    Logan finished algebra 2, a very comprehensive history course, literature, English grammar and science courses at the high school level, is an excellent writer and got honors in all categories on his GED tests.
    He tried college but didn’t like it so he creates some kind of online content that I don’t understand. He built his own high end computer to do that with money he earned at a local business. He has organized and paid for a trip to Austin, TX to find out if he wants to work at a technology company there.
    Jack, at 13, just took the 10th grade level on the state test for homeschooled children just got significantly above average in all categories. He thought it was easy enough that he will skip the 11th grade test and do 12th grade next year. I expect that our local HS principal will let him take his GED early when she sees his marks on the tests. He will finish algebra 2 this summer and is eager to get to calculus.
    He takes the same online history that Logan took, is an excellent writer and studies chemistry with Khan academy and my guidance. He is above the level that I got to in high school. All of this is voluntary. Just to be certain that he feels no pressure I ask him if he wants to quit when he struggles with some problem. He usually says “No this is important and I need to get through it.” He will occasionally take a day off when he feels he needs a break. I always concur.
    They both play a lot of video games but also know some programming and will often do “Mods” to a game that requires getting into the code.
    They go to bed when they are tired and they eat when they are hungry.
    They are lean, fit, strong, healthy and happy.


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